Crunchy Nut...ARGH! Run for your life!

Cereal. Start to the day. Set me up with a cup of tea (hint) and some cereal and I will consider myself extremely content...and yet, somehow, it causes me many problems in my mundane day to day life.

I am currently enjoying Crunchy Nut Cornflakes, undoubtedly a classic choice. It is probably a horrific thing to confess to but pretty much every morning whilst I'm chomping a bowl down I do sometimes stop and think to myself..."these ARE ludicrously tasty!". In my head I always add a note of surprise to this statement and I'm really not sure why. It's not like at any point in the advertising process have I been told anything other than the truth - that they are ludicrously tasty. Granted an advertising campaign based upon something like "these taste like toxic waste AVOID!" would not be (obviously, likely) or conducive to Kelloggs adding to their massive profit, but it just surprises me as to how utterly tasty they are. And believe me, it has always been clean sailing with me and crunchy nut cereal, yeah, we've got history. Motherfucker. Sadly the story is actually not at all worthy of a "motherfucker" I might have gotten slightly carried away there but I felt it fitted with the "history" aspect. In reality, all that actually happened was that Crunchy nut cornflakes claimed one of my baby teeth. Not in a siege or anything, not as part of a ransom... It really was quite ordinary. Damn, quite regretting the "motherfucker" now.

Just to clarify though, I am by no means some kind of dental obsessive who recalls with glazed eyes and dribble every dental experience I've ever had. It's just for some reason I do remember losing one of my first baby teeth to crunchy nut cornflakes.

Perhaps it was a particularly painful extraction, perhaps I nearly swallowed said tooth before someone upped the parenting skills and intervened or perhaps...PERHAPS all along, it's because CRUNCHY NUT CORNFLAKES ARE SO LUDICROUSLY TASTY.

Hum.

I really should get paid for such shameless promotion. Doubtful, seeing as I have likened crunchy nut cornflakes to a ransom and torture situation... Still, might be worth a shot (no pun intended). I could play the whole "come on guys - think outside the box - and I don't just mean the cereal one. You've got to appeal to a wider target here, think of all the gangsters and mafia types who can't relate to your cereal! This, THIS is your chance."

Will report back.