Gig rant.

So last Friday I went to the Union Chapel to see Alexi Murdoch. It's up there as one of the best gigs I've ever been to. The Union Chapel creates an atmosphere like no other as everyone sits quietly in their respective pews watching the artist perform. There is no shuffling, background chat or people alternatively spilling drinks on you/stepping on your feet. It is lovely. Alexi Murdoch is also lovely. If you are unfamiliar with him, then sort it out and listen to this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_R5IQoIYvTM

It's great. This is another well known one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Uz8uRWoC0I&ob=av2n

So yes, an excellent artist, a cracking venue and overall it was a brilliant evening spent with some of my best friends. It was great.

However, this being Alexi Murdoch and this being the Union Chapel, there were a few people who found the mellow and calming sound and atmosphere clearly a massive turn on, and so were indulging some full on make out sessions, a little odd maybe, but it did amuse me as it reminded me of the Seinfeld classic "you were making out during Schindlers list?!"

But what infuriated one of my gigging comrades most, was when looking for a decent video from the gig, she found this beauty. Which is unfortunately, a potentially excellent video (good sound, good recording etc) spectacularly sabotaged by someone who just couldn't resist tunelessly singing along occasionally...It sparked the following excellent tirade about the rules of gigging:

"A gig should basically follow the same rules as those found in swimming pools.. no running, no bombing (this applies to the group / support act) and the most important NO HEAVY PETTING. In addition DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES MUMBLE AND SING OUT OF TUNE ALONG TO THE SAID LIVE MUSIC to ruin a perfectly beautiful sighable song AND THEN POST IT ON YOU TUBE TO SHOW THAT YOU ARE OUT OF TUNE AND RUINING A PERFECTLY LOVELY SIGHABLE SONG FOR EVERYONE AROUND YOU. It’s like saying HI CAN YOU HEAR HOW LOVELY THIS SONG IS – GOOD WELL I HAVE RUINED IT AND AM STUPID ENOUGH TO POST IT ON YOUTUBE SO JUST IN CASE I PISSED YOU OFF AT THE GIG I CAN REMIND YOU HOW BLOODY ANNOYING IT WAS THIS IS ME I AM HERE HATE ME PLEASE."

I agree with all of the above. I should have recited this very rant to the two girls who once came and stood directly in front of me in the middle of a Tracey Chapman gig and regaled each other with stories of some poor bastard they had both shagged recently and essentially compared notes... Fine, I have no problem with that, share away. But really? In the middle of a fucking gig?! Someone is standing with a guitar and singing. This is not a fucking soundtrack to your life, if you think that someone standing in front of you singing is your cue to start talking about some poor sod and his weak technique I really think that something is wrong. Of course though, I kept all this to myself, I did sigh and shuffle a lot but next time I am resolved to take action...I'll punch them in the face.

Confessions.

So as my dedicated followers on twitter will know, I went for a run last night in an attempt to conquer St James's park. It didn't end well. It started well: we stretched, we procrastinated, we checked the map of one of the smallest parks in the world in case we got lost and eventually after thorough security checks, we set off. It started pretty well. Unfortunately, it didn't end well. I'm currently one swollen ankle, a grazed leg and a cut hand and knee down. Oh and did I mention I'm going to a domestic abuse help centre (for work) today? Doesn't look great.

Now the title of this blog obviously suggests I have something to confess. Falling over in public and making a tit out of myself is nothing new. It's practically a daily occurrance in Horsley land. No, my confession lies in the reason I fell over.

I fell over because I wasn't paying attention. Why wasn't I paying attention?... Well because I was tweeting on my phone. What was I tweeting? Something hideously moronic along the lines of 'check me out I'm such a bloody jogger. LOLosaurus'.

Yep. Now its out there. My shame will take me to Outer Mongolia. I doubt ill ever return.