Wednesday 7 October 2015

Radio 4 after 11pm

I should start this post by saying that I love the radio and that I love Radio 4 especially, but my car is lacking an aerial, so I hardly ever get to listen when I'm driving. Last night though, I borrowed my brother's car and was driving back from the cinema at about 11. I obviously tuned into radio 4. 

I do not know what I found myself in the middle of. I think it was something from the perspective of the womb. Certainly they said the word 'womb' a lot and then I think, I THINK there was a birth. In a state of relative trauma I switched to radio 1 which seemed to have had a book at bedtime take over except the book was all about urges. Wtf?! Back to radio 4 where they're suddenly talking about Katy Perry. I don't know what happened to the womb or birth. 

I ended up listening to Elton John on radio 2. 


Wednesday 27 May 2015

Adrian Mole

I'm pretty keen on reading, me. It's right up with some one of my favourite things to do, which at the moment also includes: Telling the dog I love her, telling the dog she is annoying, pretending to tidy my room, thinking I really should take down the posters on my wall that I have had up since I was a teenager, thinking I really should probably move out again, singing very badly and loudly (this morning it was Teenage Dirtbag) and of course, painting by numbers. 

I have always been keen on reading. I was quite strange when I was a nipper, this isn't a "by all accounts" sort of statement, I really was an oddo and I have very distinct memories of hiding under desks, away from classmates, reading. This may have been partly because I was incredibly shy but also partly because I was odd. Which is fine, who wasn't odd when they were a kid? I spend most of my time being odd as an adult and it's working out pretty great. 

Anyway, I had some vague aspirations to dedicate some of this blog to writing about books I have read and films I have seen, which I will probably attempt to do at some point, although I'm currently reading Middlemarch so it will be a few years before I do a "recently read review". That was my intention, and will be shall we say, my long term intention, but today I just want to write about Adrian Mole. 

I love Adrian Mole. I love his dysfunctional parents, his thin-lipped grandmother, the dog and the many other characters that drift through his world (special shout outs to Bert, Queenie, John Tydema of the BBC, Miss Elf, Rat Fink Lucas and Nigel). I was reading Adrian Mole before I was capable of spelling my own surname properly. I have actual evidence of this. 


The thing about reading Adrian (or should I say Adrain) Mole is that even on reading it for the thousandth time, I will still find something which I hadn't picked up on before. There are so many subtleties, cultural references and comments hidden in Adrian's ignorance which never struck me. For example, before I was old enough to realise that War and Peace is an epic thousand page tome, I hadn't realised the joke behind Adrian claiming to start it on May 16th and then claiming to have finished it on May 18th with the remark that it was "quite good". 

I'd say that Adrian Mole is my ultimate comfort read. I should probably add the disclaimer that whilst I have read the complete series, my preference is upon the early years. Whilst he is perpetually unwittingly the butt of jokes, both for the reader and almost everyone he has any interaction with, he is easily forgiven. When he gets older though it's harder to comprehend his behaviour and there is a distinctly darker rift throughout. In many ways he is a tragic figure, but then simultaneously he can be deeply unsympathetic. I know it's a cop out but the early years leave no bitter taste behind, they just make me happy. The school trip to the British Museum is practically the definition of my happy place, as well as the ill advised camping trip which he went on and ended up having to survive off cheese because his eggs broke, his biscuits got crushed, his bread got wet and he didn't bring a tin opener. I've been there. Cheese is life. 

Oh and also the parental (well, by parental I mean mother and her lover, Rat Fink Lucas) climbing trip which is so good it deserves a proper shout out:

"It is Mrs Ball's birthday so they all came back to our log cabin to celebrate. I complained about the noise at 1.am, 2.am, 3.am and 4.am. At 5.am they decided to climb the mountain! I pointed out to them that they were blind drunk, too old, unqualified, unfit and lacking in any survival techniques, had no first-aid kit, weren't wearing stout boots and had no compass, map or sustaining hot drinks. 

My protests fell on deaf ears. They all climbed the mountain, came down and were cooking eggs and bacon by 11:30am. As I write, Mr and Mrs Ball are canoeing on the loch. They must be on drugs."

Adrian Mole everybody, the love of my life. 

Monday 11 May 2015

Yak yak yak

It really has been a long time since I've blogged, I hadn't actually properly registered quite how long... I think perhaps because I am still regularly updating my Myrtle Diaries Tumblr, because I'm clearly only capable of showing commitment to a dog who views me solely as a means to a walk. I'll no doubt dwell on these feelings of inferiority about Myrtle in years of therapy to come so I won't dwell any more for now.

Given how much I am capable of talking it is even more surprising that some of it hasn't spilled over into a post in so long. I'm back working at a Market Research company I was working at before I jumped ship to Canada and they have taken on a new graduate who wasn't here when I last was. Because of the nature of the company and of the work, quite often it is just me and Wes in the office, which is really just a room. He puts up with a lot. Sometimes I just can't contain my speech, it bubbles out of me before I've had a chance to reflect on what I'm actually saying or what I may have just asked. Examples include:


  • I'm going for a wee! I haven't been for a wee all day! Madness!
  • What time do you tend to go to bed?
  • Do you like zombies?
  • What did you have for breakfast?
  • Do you like KFC?
  • What are your thoughts on a McDonald's breakfast?
  • What are your thoughts on the election?
  • Do you like sharks?
  • What are your thoughts on ebola?
  • Have you seen Misfits? (I have since quoted Misfits to him extensively on numerous occasions)
  • What's in your sandwiches?
  • What's your favourite type of monster munch?
  • Approx a thousand million more. 
I just clarify that these are on top of the "standard" questions I tend to drill anyone I meet with such as what music/film/tv shows do you like and the thousand "have you seen?". 

He is, fortunately, an incredibly nice and tolerant man who as yet has not shown signs of involuntarily twitching every time I open my mouth. 

So given my (evident) capacity to talk endless about any number of pointless and inane subjects I shall attempt to put more outpourings into my blog. My life is currently in an immensely frustrating period of limbo whilst I wait for the outcome of my visa application to Canada. Once I finally have an answer I will be able to decide whether I move to Toronto or New Zealand in September. Pretty different parts of the world and although I obviously won't be doing any planning for either it would be nice to at least be able to know which hemisphere to shoot for.

Stay tuned for MORE QUESTIONS?????!!!?!?!?