Friday 26 February 2010

The world is my oyster. Shame I hate seafood.

As of this afternoon, at 5pm I will be thrust out into the wild and woolly land of the unemployed. Half of me is quite looking forward to this, I will have plenty (just to re-emphasise this, plenty) of time to do whatever my heart desires. I can sit around and watch the Wire and become like the masses of people who seem to restrict their viewing hours to the small hours of the morning. There! Another fun factor, I will have the time to do it whenever I choose. It will, however, not be easy, I will face challenges. Namely that I refuse to watch Grey's Anatomy. Will I make it through? Will I emerge at the other end of this period with my "Grey's" virginity still, thankfully, in touch?

Probably.

However, I am not as shallow as to be entirely content with spending my days watching television. This, however, throws me into a terrifyingly unfamiliar setting. I feel like I am being dropped into the Australian bush with only a can of "Deep Heat" for protection and a Jaffa Cake for sustenance. Horrifically unprepared, in other words. Although I probably would still be just as fucked if I had a compass, water, suncream and a years supply of bananas. I can't read a compass (didn't pay enough attention in Duke of Edinburgh), would probably drop the water and get bored and see what happens if you repeatedly throw bananas at a variety of wildlife species.

You get the picture, this period of unemployment is unfamiliar to me and I am not entirely sure how to deal with it. My greatest fear is that I will be bored to the extent that I have to have a "hobby"... oh god, please don't let it happen. Maybe I could revisit my childhood and play with lego? Or dinosaurs, I definitely remember being obsessed with dinosaurs when I was a kiddy. Namely the act of shoving things down their throats as a means of storage... Quite a novel take on the concept of the piggy bank I think.

Realistically, I will spend my time watching Jurassic Park (the love that never dies), reading Jilly Cooper and musing (without actually acting upon) what on earth I'm going to do next.

I will no doubt conduct a vast number of these musing on this blog, so you have all that to look forward to.

Next time: The result of my haircut which is occurring on Monday (needless to say, the highlight of my Monday) which way will the scissors fall... La Roux or Hugh Grant...