Well if you've come within 15 feet of me you'll probably be aware that I love Fleetwood Mac, dinosaurs and Roman Emperors. Pretty much in that order.
If you'd come a bit closer, say 2 or 3 feet...you may have heard my other great love blasting out from my headphones. That would be: power ballads.
I freaking love power ballads. I'm talking about true power ballads which make you want to do things like lunge, spontaneously; look meaningfully and distantly into the air; power grab like your life depends on it and of course, the hair toss.
One of the main reasons I love power ballads is just purely for the lack of a requirement of dignity of any kind. I'm not a dignified person. I'm not even going to give examples of this, please just accept it as fact. Which is why power ballads are the perfect thing for someone like me. No one looks dignified whilst singing along passionately to power ballads. Need an example? MEATLOAF.
Power ballads are what I use to drag myself through each day. How would I ever get out of bed if I didn't have a rousing version of Tina Tuner telling me I'm simply the best circulating round and round my head? How would I ever go into work and sit mindlessly typing about things without the occasional blast of Bonnie Tyler. I just wouldn't, it's as simple as that. Power ballads are like my caffeine, my lucozade. MY CRACK. Ok, slight exaggeration maybe.
The other thing I love about PB (yes) is the unity they inspire in others. I'm fairly convinced that it's literally impossible not to love power ballads. If I wasn't so chronically lazy, I'd probably tempted to do some actual bone fide research into that, or like, write a paper or whatever. But realistically, that's never going to happen. What I will tell you is that there are certain situations through which basic human nature sometimes just shine through. Take the London Underground. Regardless of how many hours you are trapped underground, and regardless of how long it's been since you tasted air which wasn't tinged by BO from the businessmans armpit in you face...you will never say a word. And nor will anyone else. Basic human nature kicking in there, it's just instinct. Like breathing in and out.
The same happens when you're in a club and a power ballad comes on. Everyone with a voice will stop whatever they're doing, turn, raise their hands into the air and scream "choooon!!", this will then be followed by huge scenes of celebration as everyone hugs at the prospect of the approaching noise and...well we all know what happens next. Blissful happiness. Euphoria.
One final point. You can have a conversation through power ballads. I once had a genuine e-mail conversation with a friend of mine about a night out we were planning.
X: it's going to be... http://www.youtube.com/
Y: I'm going to have thehttp://www.youtube.com/
X: After all http://www.youtube.com/
Y: And ://www.youtube.com/
X: we're into the http://www.youtube.com/
Y: http://www.youtube.com/
X: just http://www.youtube.com/
Y: I have http://www.youtube.com/
X: Power ballads sure are http://www.youtube.com/
Total eclipse of the heart anyone?
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