Twilight
@ladyisavamp
Sex
Is
Wrong
Unlessyouaremarriedtoacrazyobsessiveancientvampirewhosparklesinthesunandnotsosecretlywantstodrinkyourblood
P.S Whoar, have you seen the werewolf?
Rebecca, Daphne Du Maurier
@screwyoudanvers
So it's pretty boring on this island, I'm just chilling with this American bint but she keeps ordering me to do shit like darning. She can fuck right off.
Hello, attractive brooding man with suspected emotionally damaged past has been sighted...time to get my claws into him.
Totally saved him from jumping off a cliff. I AM SO GREAT.
We've eloped, innit. American bint was PISSED. Ha!
Bit creepy in this massive house...I'll just pretend I know what I'm doing, that'll be fine.
Jeez who was this Rebecca chick? She's dead people, MOVE ON. Especially you, Danvers.
This is awkward, might be married to a murderer. THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME.
Oh wait it's ok, apparently Rebecca was a right bitch. Ha! Shall we elope again?
Laters, SUCKERS! FTW!
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